Picture Day

Today was a pretty big day around here. The long-scheduled day when the American Heart Association communications team would interview me (and my husband) for a Go Red for Women video in our own living room. Our boys were filmed with us, doing regular family things like playing outside, eating a snack, and playing a game. My house, of course, got a complete scouring and decluttering for this event; my brain might have benefited from that too.

The interview was hard. I felt like I had cotton in my mouth. I couldn’t stop the tears or emotions. And after it was over I thought of better ways to say everything and ten more things I should have said but didn’t. Scott made me leave the room when it was his turn, but I eavesdropped from the top step. He was amazing; I’m pretty sure he stole the show.

There’s so much to say, sometimes, it’s hard to say anything coherent at all. I want women to know how important it is to know their risk, their numbers, the signs of a heart attack, and what to do about it. I want them to know it is okay to put their health first — that it is, in fact, the only way they can care for others. I want people to know that heart disease is an epidemic that matters to everyone. I want donors and government and business and researchers and universities and hospitals to put the time, energy, and money into research for the reasons why this happens to people and what to do about it. I want something other for my future than an angioplasty every year until I’m old enough for a bypass. I don’t want my children or nieces and nephews to have any risk at all.

I wanted to say all that really well. I’m not sure I did, but I also can’t really remember it and it was only three hours ago. (Scott assures me I did well, but he’d be insane to say anything else.) The whole experience was an emotional roller coaster and I’m absolutely exhausted.

I hope they got what they need to make a strong case for awareness and financial support for women and heart disease. I hope I’m not too embarrassed when I have to watch it in a room full of 600 people and then speak to them afterward. I hope I helped. That’s all I can do.

Owen volunteered as a stand in while the videographers set up their shots.

Me getting mic’ed and peering into the lens to use as a mirror to fix my hair. 

I have no idea what Scott is talking just a “little bit” about here.